When the going gets tough, remember these 12 things

Growth and comfort can’t ride the same horse 

It’s easier said than done, that when the going gets tough, the tough get going.  Life challenges will come, whether we like it or not. It’s called the dip. And even the toughest feel the pain of the struggle in the dip.

Plunging Naira to dollar exchange rate, skyrocketing inflation, slump in business, relationship heartbreak. These and many more factors can bring the tough times. But if you survive the dip, you will come out the other side stronger than you can imagine.

Here are 12 things to remember when tough times come your way^[1]:

1. Feel the dip

This is the reality check. Give yourself permission to feel the dip. Don’t try to fight it or make yourself feel better simply by silencing the negative emotions. Embrace where you are in the moment without any judgment or expectation that things should be anything other than what they are.

2. You won’t feel this way forever 

Research by Harvard psychologist Daniel Gilbert found that people are generally pathetic at forecasting their feelings when they are in the middle of a tough situation. In fact, in the midst of a crisis, we tend to think we will always feel the way we do now. This is not true.

So no matter how bad you feel right now, remind yourself that will not feel this way forever. Hope is a risk that must be run

3. You are bigger than your problems^[2]

As difficult as your circumstances may be, don’t let them define your or become your identity. You are not your adversities, your job status or bank statement, challenging marriage or parenting, nor anything that has ever happened to you.

Who you are is far beyond any external measure, situation, or experience. The biggest obstacles to growth are not always the external ones. They are the ones inside our heads.

4. Faith doesn’t remove your problems, it transforms them

We can’t connect the dots moving forward. We can only connect them looking backward. So keep faith that as messy as your situation may be right now, in the long arch of time, the dots will connect.

5. Growth comes with discomfort 

Adversity has a way of introducing us to aspects of our humanity –strengths, talents, and deeper dimensions of our own being – that we couldn’t access without them. So embrace those uncomfortable emotions for the opportunity they hold to learn and grow in whole new ways.

Growth and comfort can’t ride the same horse. Just because an experience is hard, doesn’t mean it’s bad. Sometimes the very worst thing that ever happened to us can turn out to be the very best thing.

6. See doubt as a positive

Doubt and skepticism don’t have to result in paralysis. Instead, a healthy dose of skepticism forces us to confront and validate our beliefs, ideas and choices over and over. It’s a gut check that helps ensure you that you are on the right track.

Do also talk it out. It’s dangerous to keep it all in your head. When you are feeling the rut, reach out to a mentor or a friend or someone with more experience. This could put things into better perspective.

7. Meditate often

Meditation is a path to letting go of negative thoughts and behavior and discovering new ways to cope with stress. A strong meditation practice can help you stay calm then things are sideways and increase your sense of awareness.

8. Contraction leads to expansion

Opportunity follows disappointment and expansion follows contraction. As long as you keep your faith and stay focused on the goal, the dips would most likely lead to great expansion and achievement eventually.

9. Stick to your convictions

What do you believe in? Knowing the answer to this question and being truly committed to your values will help you stay focused on the big picture. Let your convictions be your guide and sustain you through tough times.

10. Find the good in experiences

Every experience is an opportunity to learn. Victories are exciting, but there is also something to learn from challenges and mistakes. When you find yourself frustrated, ask yourself, what is there for me to learn from this experience? How does this experience serve me?

11. Exercise and train your brain

Much like meditation, exercise can train your brain to respond differently to stress. Even if you don’t exercise regularly, a 20-minute walk can work wonders for your mood. Developing a regular exercise habit can result in increased energy, productivity, better sleep, and a better sense of overall well-being.

12. Gratitude, valley and the mountain 

Start writing down three things you’re grateful for each night before bed. Or every week or month. When things get bad, you can go back and read this gratitude journal to remind yourself of how much there is to be grateful for in your life. It’s also great proof that things tend to work out for the better.

When you see the mountains you’ve climbed before, it will remind you that you will eventually come out of your present valley.