- Stand up straight with your shoulders high
Pay attention to your posture. Choose to hold your shoulders high over drooping around. Be assertive, say what you believe is right. You need to realize that your desires are just as important as anyone else’s. You have the right to want things for yourself. As you walk straight, your serotonin will flow with ease, making you, in turn, a more confident person.
In lobsters, serotonin is the hormone responsible for posture. Low-ranking lobsters produce a low level of serotonin. This holds for humans too. The lack of this hormone results in a low level of self-confidence. Moreover, it means more pain, less happiness, a shorter life span, and more illness among both humans and the crustaceans.
Most lobsters are complete bastards left to their own devices. Most humans are almost the same when left to their own devices.
- Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping
The story of the Garden of Eden shows that we are all touched with Original Sin But you have a choice. You can either seek Heaven or be dragged down into Hell. Stop waiting for other people to dig you out of your hole.
First of all, spell out who you are. It is not given to us. We need to make ourselves. Refine your personality. Start now by treating yourself like someone you are responsible for helping
- Befriend people who want the best for you
We are all human beings. Some just happen to be better Beings than others. Learn to tell the difference. Some people are beyond help. They are merely exploiting the willingness of good people to help them and, as Dostoyevsky rightly observes, will drag you down to their level.
It requires strength to surround yourself with healthy people who want the best for you. They should also be mature and self-sufficient so that you could also learn from them. You need to use your judgment, build courage, and protect yourself from pity and too-uncritical compassion.
- Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, and who you can be tomorrow
Winner takes all” is a very dramatic saying. However, people, who are best at what they do, get more access to resources and attention. The majority of us are not the best. Face it, you’re never going to be that smart, so don’t always compare yourself to someone who is.
We are ordinary people who shine or tarnish at times. We need to make peace with our downs; they are a common thing. But whenever we succeed, we should compare our success to our previous history of accomplishments, not ourselves to other people.
None of us are worthless. It is a pretty destructive thought that causes us even more damage. We need to create a positive illusion, if that helps, and try to make it a reality.
- Do not let your children do anything that makes you dislike them
Remember that children are born with Original Sin and have a huge capacity for evil. They are not totally innocent beings. They need discipline if they are going to grow up to be even vaguely worthwhile humans.
Some of the popular upbringing methods today almost wholly exclude the practice of discipline and punishment. A lot of new parents find them synonymous with tyranny and torture. The line is thin, indeed.
Yet, both should be a part of a balanced upbringing, performed with exceptional care. If you want to shape your child’s behavior, figure out what it is exactly; observe what your child is doing now; reinforce the positive aspects of their actions.
The following are some examples of simple rules for kids:
- Fight only in self-defense
- Don’t bully others
- Eat in moderation and be thankful for the food
- Share your things with others
- Be attentive and respectful when adults address you
- Take care of your stuff
- Set your house in order before you criticise the world
We take a lot for granted, even the spaces we live in today, because order needs to be maintained. When we pay insufficient attention to it, corruption finds its way in. Some tend to blame God for this as if we hold no responsibility for our lives whatsoever.
We should ask ourselves whether we have exhausted all our opportunities and used our potential to the fullest. If we don’t find the strength to do that, we might spiral into despair and resentment.
A hurricane is an act of God. But failure to prepare, when the necessity for preparation is well known — that’s sin.
- Pursue what is meaningful, not what is expedient
Life has suffering. The Book of Genesis tells us that. There is no easy way round this. So, quit looking for short cuts. Concentrate on what matters and learn the true meaning of sharing.
Sharing does not mean giving out without getting something in return. For this reason, some children refuse to share. The model of sharing is the basis for initiating a trade. This last one is the symbolic form of building relationships with other people. If children can’t share, they can’t trade. Which means, in turn, that they don’t get to have friends. Thus, friendship is a form of trade.
Indeed, our lives involve a lot of suffering that comes upon realizing our vulnerability and mortality, in general. Many of us postpone the pleasure of living today for the sake of preparing for the future.
- Tell the truth. Or at least don’t lie
Truth is personal, yet objective at once. It doesn’t come masked as the views and beliefs of others, nor is it an ideology. Your truth is your narrative that grows out of your unique circumstances.
Identify your personal truth, tell it to yourself, and share discreetly with others. The instant you do it, you will feel more confident because knowing our personal truth provides a solid ground underneath our feet.
We can use words to share information and experiences, create meanings, and manipulate reality. With such power at hand, we can make up a life-lie that would feature a narrow-predetermined outcome of our actions and thoughts.
- Shut up and listen!
There is a clear distinction between listening and hearing. However, most of us tend to ignore it and choose the latter over the former one. As we hear someone else talking, we just let our brain react to a sound stimulus.
On the other hand, when we listen, we let the thoughts and ideas pass through our psyche. In the process, they might also cling to our consciousness and have it digest them. It’s safe to assume that the person you are listening to knows something you don’t.
When you take your time to listen carefully, people will tell you everything they are thinking, with very little deceit. They will share absurd, exciting, and interesting things, and you will never have a boring conversation again.
- Be precise in your speech
Word your thoughts carefully. Our brain makes the reality into words as long as the objects they signify are meaningful to us. So is the world around us. We learn to use and navigate it. However, objects and phenomena of the world are mutually connected and dependant on one another.
To extract them from the whole of reality (i.e., understand them), we need to be very accurate and precise with the verbal forms — words — we use to name them.
- Do not bother children while they are skateboarding… and let boys be boys
Skateboarding is dangerous, just like any other physical activity, and that’s the point. Children want to celebrate themselves over danger. Their parents want their kids to be safe. They purchase protective equipment and even try to oversee the process.
However, most adults don’t realize or have already forgotten that children like the danger because it helps them become competent. When you gain your own experiences, you can keep safe.
When given the opportunity, we prefer to live on the edge. This is how we build confidence in our experiences. Moreover, most of us enjoy taking risks, as it enlivens us, making us ready for the future while still enjoying the present.
Boys and girls are different. After they enter puberty, these differences become even more pronounced. Boys are less agreeable, like to compete, and are more interested in things. On the contrary, girls are less independent, more empathetic, and take an interest in people over things. Both sexes run in different hierarchies. Girls can win in both; however, when boys start to share female values, they lose among other males.
In our societies, male strength defines the way our relationships are built. Women want tough men, not boys. When they see a tougher man, they go for him. Nevertheless, when a woman tries to be tough, assertive, and, generally, act like a man, she finds it much more difficult to find a match. We shouldn’t try to erase all the differences between boys and girls.
- Say thank you everyday and pet a cat
There are many things to be thankful for each day. As the day ends, try to enlist everything good that took place: a tasty cup of coffee, Milo or Bournvita, a cute animal you petted on the street, a polite shop assistant, etc. When you try to concentrate on the positive ones, you will see that they outweigh the nuisances. This revelation will help you preserve the strength you carry in you. Make good things happen. Pet a cat when you see one.